whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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