So drunk its hurt
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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