Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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