so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
