So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
