I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
