took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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