____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
