HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
