whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
