so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
