If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
too bad you live with your parents still
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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