Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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