brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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