Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
