Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
