I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
