you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
