Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize