i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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