You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize