i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
