i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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