Dual....:-)
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
