he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
