But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
