i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
