he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
