why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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