I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
