I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
