One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
