How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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