Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
