My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I look better un-naked...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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