New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
as a side note pls kill me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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