What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
