He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
