we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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