Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
