He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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