im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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