drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
