I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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