happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
