yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
