I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
