One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
