i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sobbing to NWA
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
