we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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