JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
