Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
