he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize