hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
