what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
