I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They have beer where we have blood.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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