ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
