I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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