girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
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